Grazhir :: Harry Potter :: Oneshots Collection :: 02 :: Reindeer

02 • Reindeer

Warnings: None
Pairings: None
Spoilers: None

Summary: Singing can be such a bad idea.

Notes: Just something that popped into my head while I was outside smoking and brushing fleas off my legs.


“We are gathered here today on this sad occasion to say good-bye to a man long revered in life, and who will be cherished long past the moment of his death.” The speaker paused for a moment and attempted to frown when a member of the audience tried valiantly to stifle a giggle.

“As per our customs, we shall not descend into depression and blackest mourning, but rather celebrate the life that Albus Dumbledore lived. We shall remember just how many lives he touched during his journey with fondness, and for some, love.” The speaker paused a second time when a different person choked back a bit of laughter and was hastily elbowed in the ribs by the person sitting next to them.

“I would like to begin by sharing my own experiences with Albus, which began when I was just a boy—” He was cut off when a howl of laughter erupted from somewhere in the back. The speaker swore under his breath, forgetting that the sonorus spell would relay it to everyone, then threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

“Yes! We all know it was his own bloody fault, though I personally blame the Weasley twins for singing that damn song!” The speaker, Harry Potter, glared ferociously at two redheads among those gathered, who were presently clutching each other with tears running down their faces. “If not for you, Albus wouldn’t have done it!”

And so it went.

As it was, it all started when Fred and George had begun, in the spirit of things, singing, “Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer.” Unfortunately, Albus had picked up on it and had decided, in his infinite wisdom, that having the creatures roaming the grounds during the holiday was a splendid idea, especially for those muggle-borns staying on that year.

What was even more unfortunate was that Albus had never heard the song, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Perhaps if he had, he might not have suffered the same fate himself on a snowy Christmas eve. At least he died happy.