Grazhir :: Harry Potter :: Induction :: 09 :: Things Change

09 • Things Change

Saturday, 18 January 1997

Severus was slouched in his chair, his head resting against the plushy back and his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. Haze was in the lab, working on his potions. Severus didn’t see the point in watching him so closely now, as he had every expectation that the boy would do just fine, and there wasn’t anything in particular Severus needed to brew himself.

He watched the fire in a vague way, enjoying the play of colour through the flickering flames, and listened to the quiet movements of Haze in the next room. A publication lay on the table beside him, untouched. It would be lunch time soon, though Severus was feeling lazy enough to not work up too much enthusiasm over the concept.

The noises in the other room changed; the sound of glass was heard clinking together. Severus presumed that Haze was finishing up his current batch, or batches, and would soon be out. If the boy kept on this way, he’d have his make-up work complete well before expected. But that was all right, as he’d still be coming back every weekend day for Occlumency, even if it wasn’t for both morning and afternoon.

Severus thought perhaps it was time to change things a little in anticipation of that. Maybe a little something to work up an appetite he wasn’t currently feeling. Footsteps sounded, and Severus knew that Haze was indeed almost done, and listened more carefully as his eyes continued to watch the dancing flames. It wasn’t as though he needed a fire going; it was there simply for looks.

He heard Haze enter the room, the leave again, this time through the bedroom door. Several minutes later he returned, coming to rest on the couch in his customary spot.

“Done already?” Severus asked lazily.

“Yes, sir. I think those went quite well.”

“I’m sure they did. Were you planning on working through the afternoon as well?”

“Yes, if that’s all right, sir. The sooner I’ve completed what I’ve missed, the better I’ll feel about things.”

“It’s fine. Getting hungry?”

Haze nodded.

“Haze, go under. Good boy, that’s right. Open your eyes, Haze. Have you ever had sex, Haze?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Who could I possibly trust? Well, aside from you.”

Severus raised his brows for a moment then nodded. “Do you ever fantasize about sex, or dream about it?”

“Sometimes.” Haze shrugged slightly.

“Do you think you’re old enough to have sex?”

“I’m of age. Isn’t that what counts?” countered Haze.

“So it’s all right if you were to have sex now, is that right?”

“Yes, but I think it would be smarter for me to wait.”

“Until?”

“Until I’m an adult.”

“Why so?”

Haze shrugged again. “It just is. Just because I could doesn’t mean I should.”

“So next year it would be acceptable in your mind.”

“Yes.”

“Interesting.” Interesting indeed considering that they’d been engaging in sexual acts for months, but apparently it was only full-on intercourse that counted in Haze’s mind. “Haze, I know it gives you pleasure to obey me, but do you enjoy what you’ve been doing aside from that?”

Haze tilted his head to the side and gave Severus a curious look.

“When I tell you to please me, do you enjoy what you’re doing, above and beyond the pleasure you get from obeying?” Severus asked.

“Yes, I do.”

“Let me try that another way, to clarify. Assuming you did not get pleasure just from obeying me, would you still get pleasure from pleasing me as you have?”

Haze smiled and nodded.

“Such a good boy. You like men, don’t you.”

“Yes,” Haze replied firmly, without any of the ambivalence he’d displayed almost two months ago.

“And you like me, don’t you.”

“Yes.”

“Why is that?”

“I didn’t at first. You were always so . . . harsh. But I know it’s something you have to do, have to be like. When we’re alone, here or in the classroom, you’re different. I feel like I’m seeing something very few people ever get to see, and I find what I see attractive.”

“You aren’t speaking of physical attractions,” Severus stated.

“Not really. That’s nice, but it’s not everything. It’s like, Hermione is beautiful to me, because I’m so close to her, and I like the person inside. The more you get to know someone, and the more comfortable you feel with them, the better they look to you. Or, well, the less looks matter.”

Severus nodded, despite the fact that his initial interest in the boy had almost everything to do with his looks. Well, and . . . but he didn’t need to finish that thought.

“Have you ever wanted to please me, even when I hadn’t told you to?”

“Yes.”

“You know, Haze, when we’re here alone in my quarters you can always ask. It doesn’t have to go beyond that door.” Severus pointed to the door leading to the hallway. “Right now, you know, your subconscious mind is completely in control, but I wonder if you’ve ever wanted to please me even when you’re fully awake. Have you?”

“Yes.”

“And if you were to ask while you were fully awake you would consider it entirely your own idea, wouldn’t you.”

“It would be, so yes.”

“And that’s because even though right now your subconscious mind is in control, you won’t consciously remember this conversation when you’re awake, just like you never consciously remember anything that happens when your subconscious is in control like it is now. If you were to ask me then, it would be because you did trust me, and you wanted to ask. Correct?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“But if you were to ask me, and I said yes, you’d never tell anyone, and it would be our secret. I know how fond you are of secrets, and this would be a very special one.”

Haze nodded.

“One that you wouldn’t tell anyone, ever, even if they used veritaserum. Isn’t that right? Because if you were to tell, people would stop you from enjoying yourself.”

“Yes.”

“You’re a very good boy, Haze. I’m quite proud of you. Haze, wake up.” After a second pause Severus said, “I suppose I should order some lunch.”

*

Hours later Severus was still slouched in his chair, his head resting against the plushy back and his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He held a publication in his hands, one of the trade journals he subscribed to on potions, and was reading about the most recent advances made, reported by fellow masters of the art. Haze was in the lab, working through another set of seventh year potions.

It lacked about an hour until dinner time, and Severus could feel the stirrings of hunger in his stomach. He could tell by the sounds from the next room that Haze was almost done, so he went ahead and ordered a meal. If Haze wished to stay, he could. If not, that was all right too. Severus was more curious to see if anything would happen.

He was in the middle of eating when Haze appeared, glanced over, then disappeared into the bedroom. When he returned Haze asked, “May I join you, sir?”

“Certainly, if you like.”

Severus watched as Haze filled a plate, then they conversed of inconsequential things between bites. Haze allowed as how he was feeling challenged again with his new level of work, and that he felt confident that he’d pass his NEWTs with good marks. He also mentioned that while the seventh year Gryffindors made no real attempts to get closer to him, neither did they exclude him in classes. Jack Sloper had taken to sitting with him as a fellow quidditch team member.

Ron was still upset, Haze revealed, but beginning to accept things, especially as Harry was making such a point of being sure to spend quality time with him and had opted to remain in the sixth year dormitory room. Hermione, on the other hand, was practically beside herself to finally have a fellow Gryffindor who was as interested in spending time in the library as she was.

Once she’d realized that no amount of questioning would cause Harry to confess to some whopping big secret of success, she’d dropped the matter entirely but for the occasional quizzical glance. The fact that Harry was staying strictly out of trouble was a bonus which helped to distract her from such minor details. He had, Haze pointed out, told her that he was merely learning from her excellent example, and that he saw her as an exceptional role model when it came to scholastics.

Apparently, Severus decided, Haze was a very good at rationalizing what he couldn’t consciously explain. He’d have to be to get the insufferable little know-it-all off his back. Either that, or she was too caught up in the plausibility of the explanation to notice the minor, straight-faced sarcasm. If anything, she’d been too busy pouting over not being allowed to assist Harry with his current research, and had supposedly gone straight to Dumbledore to ask if she could do her own for extra credit in Defense.

When they finished eating, Haze did not ask for anything. He simply wished Severus a good evening and said he’d see him in the morning.

Severus was rather disappointed, but he hadn’t really expected the boy to jump on the subconscious invitation that quickly anyway. Other realizations had taken time to work themselves out in the boy’s brain, so Severus fully expected this one would as well. He’d keep on as he had been, but if Haze decided to come to him willingly, so much the better.

Saturday, 1 February 1997

It wasn’t until several weeks later that anything really showed signs of change. They were part way through lunch when Haze, who’d been shifting around in his seat a bit, finally showed signs of opening up to certain topics. Severus had not yet put the boy under that day, and had not planned to until it was prior to the dinner hour.

“I was wondering, sir,” Haze said a touch diffidently, “if I could ask you about something.”

Severus arched his brow momentarily and said, “You may.”

“You don’t. . . .” Haze said, and trailed off. “You don’t, er—you’re proud of me, sir, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” replied Severus, somewhat mystified as to where this was going.

“Do you . . . think I’m arrogant, sir?”

Severus gave Haze a piercing look before answering. “I have not thought so since shortly after we began practical lessons in Occlumency.”

Haze nodded vaguely and looked over at the fire.

Severus continued with, “Since we established our little truce, I’ve seen firsthand that you can remain polite and respectful, and that when you honestly put forth the effort to learn you do very well indeed.” He paused then said, “I get the feeling that this isn’t entirely what you’re asking about. Was there something else on your mind?”

Haze looked over with wide eyes for a moment, then back at the fire.

Severus pondered. The boy’s eyes had given nothing away, but he hadn’t really expected them to. “That’s all right. If whatever it is is important to you, I know you’ll find a way to ask,” he said mildly, then went back to his meal.

The conversation went back to more normal topics, and after lunch Haze went back in to the lab for more work.

Sunday, 2 February 1997

“I never knew how many different ways there were to supposedly deal with evil spirits, sir,” Haze said over lunch. “I mean, did you know that some people believed you could press the hair of the person you’re dealing with, or whatever else you can get, into beeswax, then insert it into a hole you’ve bored in a tree and plug it with a wooden peg you drive in?”

Severus quirked up the corner of his mouth.

“Or that there are specific rituals for binding a person from doing harm? Even ones for returning negativity back on the originator, sir.”

“And how much of this is relevant to the issue of the Dark Lord?” Severus asked with faint amusement.

“I don’t know, sir. But paganism has been around for ages, and I sometimes wonder if our magic had its own roots there. Perhaps some people realized that they could do more than what they had rituals for, and broke off to create something new. In any case, it’s just that I keep thinking about how his soul escaped true death when his body was destroyed. If the one could be bound, then perhaps killing the body would actually accomplish something this time.”

“I suppose that could be possible,” Severus allowed.

“I guess what I’m trying to—” Haze stopped then said, “Is there such a thing as soul magic, sir?”

“There must be, as the Dark Lord has proven it to some extent,” replied Severus thoughtfully. “It is said he traveled far and wide learning from every dark wizard he could.”

“Which sounds like it isn’t the sort of thing you’d find in a book, sir.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not.” Severus knew that attempts to locate texts on the subject might not only be difficult, but also dangerous. On the other hand, the Dark Lord’s success in perverting the natural way of things indicated that there must be a counter, somewhere. He should have become nothing more than a powerless ghost, not a spirit who could not only possess people, but recreate his body.

“I shall have to look into it,” he said finally.

It was at the end of dinner, hours later, when Severus saw the next example of Haze trying to bring up a subject he was uncomfortable speaking on, evident in his sideways, crab-like approach.

“Do you . . . like . . . me, sir?”

“When you’re behaving yourself, as you have been, and applying yourself as you should, I find you to be fairly pleasant company. Certainly articulate and intelligent, unlike many of your classmates, and able to converse without wandering all over the proverbial landscape. So yes, I do.”

“Oh. Thank you, sir.” Haze then quickly finished up his meal and stood, hefting his bag over his shoulder. “I guess I should get going,” Haze said with a touch of reluctance. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class, sir.”

Severus inclined his head briefly. “Pleasant dreams, Haze.”

Saturday, 8 February 1997

Severus had finished his morning’s work in the lab and sent it up to the infirmary via house-elf, and was currently sitting in his chair reading the latest edition of Potion Master’s Monthly. He distantly heard Haze moving around in the lab as he read, but didn’t pay the noises much attention. Several minutes later he heard footsteps passing through the room and back out, the distant sound of running water, then footsteps back into the living area.

He thought nothing of it, that is, until he sensed Haze by his chair, then a warm weight pressed against his leg. He glanced away from the journal to see Haze kneeling on the floor at an angle, and watched as the boy laid his head down on Severus’s knee and stared at the fire.

He turned his attention back to the journal, though his attention was scattered, and said nothing. A few minutes later, when he’d read the same page several times over, he felt Haze wrap one of his arms around the leg he was resting against.

Severus responded by reaching down with one hand and running his fingers through the boy’s hair, still not saying a word, not wanting to spook the boy so early on. This time he was able to move on to the next page and continue reading, pausing in his attentions to Haze only long enough to turn the page as necessary.

As the minutes passed, he increased the pressure of his fingers on the boy’s scalp slightly, and reached further to caress the back of Haze’s neck as well. He finally gave up on reading and set the magazine to the side. His free arm dangled over the side of the chair as he continued to stroke gently, and smooth the untamed hair back from Haze’s face, who had by then closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Severus’s calf.

The idyllic tranquility of the moment was eventually shattered when Haze’s stomach made it quite clear he was hungry. Severus hid a smile at seeing the boy’s face flush in embarrassment, and instead said in a low, soft voice, “Shall I order lunch, then?”

When Haze loosened his grip and nodded his head, Severus removed his hand. After a moment, Haze let go entirely and sat back, pushing to his feet and moving to his usual spot on the couch. Severus set on ordering a meal, and when it arrived, they fell back into a more normal pattern of behavior, with no mention of what had just happened.

Haze, apparently, was feeling a bit frustrated, and expressed this to Severus. “Ron seems to think I need a girlfriend, sir.”

“And what do you think of that particular notion?”

“Not much, sir. He seems to think that because he wants one, so should I.”

“It seems that your friend ought to learn that his needs are not necessarily yours, nor is it his responsibility to try to push you into things you’d rather not experience just yet.”

Haze shrugged and picked up a sandwich. “Yes, but I don’t think he’s the type to understand that without a lot of plain speaking. Subtlety isn’t his strong suit, sir.”

Severus snorted quietly.

Haze immediately said, “I don’t mean that in a bad way, really. It’s usually pretty easy to tell what he thinks of something, and he doesn’t trouble himself to hide it, sir.”

“A trait that can often get one into serious trouble, depending on the situation,” Severus pointed out.

Haze shrugged again and bit into his sandwich, taking the time to chew and swallow before responding. “But that’s just him, sir. I don’t want to offend him, I just want him to stop bugging me about it.”

“I’m not quite sure what to tell you. Interpersonal skills were never my strong suit. But you might consider making it plain to him that if he’s bent on hanging out for a girl himself, he’ll never get one if all he does is talk to you, and never to them.”

Haze nodded slowly, then finished his sandwich and brushed off his hands. “Is it all right if spend the afternoon in your lab, sir? I’m getting really close to finishing the first term work list.”

“You may, but not this coming Saturday. I have a staff meeting that afternoon.”

*

Some time before dinner rolled around, Haze repeated his actions of earlier, sliding down onto the floor next to Severus and resting against him. Severus reached out a hand and began stroking his hair idly. When Haze cozied up to him more closely, Severus trailed his fingers down the side of the boy’s face and started stroking him under the chin lightly, causing Haze’s eyes to flutter shut and soft, pleased noises to issue from this throat.

As before, when Haze’s stomach decided it needed attention, they separated and Severus ordered dinner. Haze left that evening after giving a tentative smile to Severus before ducking out the door.

Saturday, 15 February 1997

The staff meeting was, as usual, boring. Severus was quietly sitting in his chair wearing a mask of complete indifference when the subject of Harry Potter finally came up. Last month’s meeting had hardly been an appropriate time to discuss the boy, seeing as how he’d only been in seventh year classes for two weeks at the time.

But they’d had an additional month to keep an eye on him, and were ready to comment on his progress. What followed was not unexpected to Severus. Much like Haze was doing in his own classes, he had gone to every other teacher and received a list of what he’d missed during the first term, and had been practicing during his free afternoons to be sure he understood the material.

In some classes he had stayed behind once a week, or dropped in during the open time after the last class of the day and before dinner, to demonstrate his knowledge either practically or in writing. Thus far, not one of his teachers could see that the boy was having any real difficulty in keeping up, and making up past work.

Severus left the meeting with a smirk. They’d never know just how much the teacher who had a reputation for hating the boy had had a hand in making him as hard-working and dedicated as he was today.

Sunday, 16 February 1997

When lunch rolled around Haze did not come and sit by his chair, but instead went straight to the couch. Severus ordered a meal after a moment, and they both ate when it arrived, Haze talking about his morning’s work and his other classes.

Afterward Haze stood and disappeared into the bedroom, which left Severus feeling a bit confused, and he wondered if it would be necessary to go back to bringing the boy under to get what he wanted out of him. But then Haze arrived back in the room and knelt by his chair, this time turned around. With his head resting on Severus’s knee, Severus could now see his eyes. The boy gazed up at him solemnly, closing his eyes when Severus reached down to play with his hair.

After a few minutes of running his fingers through Haze’s soft hair, and thinking about the situation and where he wanted it to go, Severus spoke softly and slowly. “You know, Haze, you might be more comfortable if you were to sit between my legs. Surely my knee isn’t that soft.”

Several moments passed by, long enough for Severus to think that perhaps nothing would happen, when Haze opened his eyes and gave him a faint smile. After lifting his head he straightened, then shuffled around on his knees as Severus shifted his feet apart.

Whereas Severus had envisioned Haze sitting facing away from him with his head tilted back, the boy instead moved forward and fitted himself between Severus’s legs, draping his arms over Severus’s thighs and lowering his head so that his cheek and mouth rested directly against his professor’s fabric-covered cock.

It was, in Severus’s opinion, an extremely awkward position to take. But on the other hand, the boy’s mouth was so very close to where Severus wanted it to be. He reached out again to stroke the boy’s head and neck. He could feel Haze’s hot breath even through his trousers.

He closed his eyes and simply let his hands wander as they would, seeing the boy in his mind’s eye kneeling before him, imagining Haze wrapping those soft lips around his cock and using his tongue to drive him wild. As those delightful images flickered across through his head he could feel himself stiffening in response. And each time the boy shifted slightly, as though trying to get more comfortable, he hardened further.

Severus finally realized that Haze was rubbing his face against his erection in a rather methodical and calculated manner, which only served to make him more aroused. Haze was asking all right, and when the boy became bold enough to lift his head enough to place firm kisses along his shrouded length, Severus bit his lip and moaned, his fingers tightening momentarily in Haze’s hair.

When Haze licked the fabric covering him he wanted to die on the spot, and didn’t object in the slightest when the boy pulled away—Severus’s hands fell limply to either side—and then stroked him several times before slowly undoing each button that held his trousers closed.

He felt Haze carefully release his cock from its confines and kiss the head, then swirl his tongue around, spending extra moments on the spot just beneath the head underneath before swiftly engulfing the full length. Severus slouched in his chair, one hand creeping back to entangle in the boy’s hair, but applying no real pressure.

Haze wrapped one hand around the base of his cock while the other gripped his thigh, his thumb stroking back and forth over the fabric that covered the junction where Severus’s leg met his body. Haze kept his head moving smoothly, up and down the hard shaft, occasionally letting his teeth graze lightly over the moist skin, sending confusing signals to Severus’s brain of pleasure and anticipated danger.

The boy pulled back, continuing to suck gently at the head, and tried to work his fingers further inside Severus’s trousers, but failed and made an irritated noise in his throat. He pulled back entirely and freed his hands, only to firmly grip the waistband at the sides and start tugging.

Severus lifted his hips and allowed Haze to draw his trousers and boxers down to his ankles, then settled back in the chair. He could not open his legs wider, especially as the boy knelt directly on the fabric shackling them together at the ankle, and settled for slouching further.

Haze wrapped a hand around his cock again and took him fully, letting his other hand brush down to Severus’s balls briefly, then further down to press against his anus. Severus moaned as he felt a finger enter him, and pushed, losing himself in the slight violation. He felt Haze smile around his cock then fellate him with more enthusiasm, working his finger in time with his mouth and tongue.

Soon a second finger was added, stretching Severus and stimulating him further and deeper, and Haze pulled his mouth away from his cock to duck his head and wetly lick his balls, taking each into his mouth and bathing them with his tongue.

Severus strained and arched his hips off the chair, rubbing his cock against the side of Haze’s face until the boy took him in his mouth again and began sucking hard, with swift movements of his head. Severus’s grip in the boy’s hair tightened and he began to guide Haze’s rhythm, urging him to go faster until at last he exploded into that hot, wet mouth in a series of pulsing jerks.

Haze’s fingers moved more lazily then, slowly withdrawing from his body as the boy lapped his rapidly softening cock clean with long strokes of his tongue. Severus, spent, let his hand fall to the side. He heard Haze murmuring a cleaning charm, then felt the boy lay his head down again, just where it had started.

Five minutes passed, perhaps ten, before Severus felt like opening his eyes. Haze looked almost like he was sleeping, and there was a faint smile touching the corners of his mouth. It was at that point that Severus really wondered if he should return the favor. He’d always been careful to be the one receiving, the one who didn’t touch, but he’d already broken that rule by allowing himself amusement and pleasure in the feel of the boy’s hair and skin.

Then again, the boy had said he wanted to please him. And though he quite obviously enjoyed rewarding himself, he’d not said anything about being pleased by Severus. He cast his thoughts back, his expression momentarily hardening, and decided; the boy would have to ask.